A blog about the life of the Balentine family: Adam, Amy, Teddy, Simon, Thomas, Peter and Goldie

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Oceans


God has been asking me to write further about Him speaking to me in our old church in San Francisco, so I am obeying and sharing so you can see where my heart was on February 2, 2014.

The song that spoke to my heart was called Oceans by Hillsong.  I should mention that the band at Cornerstone is simply amazing – they often sound better than the originally recorded song.  Normally in the first few songs at Cornerstone, they ask us to rise and sing with them, but for Oceans, their opening worship song, they asked for us to sit and sing or just read the words silently as they sang to us.  It was a sweet time of worship.  I sang the words that would come out of my mouth behind the quivering voice and tear-filled eyes.  But my tears and my shaky voice weren’t coming from a sad place – it was joy.  I recall thinking, I’m not sad, this is thanksgiving to my Jesus.  It was like my thoughts had surprised me – they did, actually.  A wave of peace come over me as I felt the Holy Spirit move through me.  Here are the lyrics that spoke and continue to speak to my heart.


 You call me out upon the waters
 The great unknown where feet may fail
 And there I find You in the mystery
 In oceans deep
 My faith will stand

 And I will call upon Your name
 And keep my eyes above the waves
 When oceans rise
 My soul will rest in Your embrace
 For I am Yours and You are mine
 
 Your grace abounds in deepest waters
 Your sovereign hand
 Will be my guide
 Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
 You've never failed and You won't start now
 
 So I will call upon Your name
 And keep my eyes above the waves
 When oceans rise
 My soul will rest in Your embrace
 For I am Yours and You are mine
 
 Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
 Let me walk upon the waters
 Wherever You would call me
 Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
 And my faith will be made stronger
 In the presence of my Savior
 
 I will call upon Your Name
 Keep my eyes above the waves
 My soul will rest in Your embrace
 I am Yours and You are mine

This song has become my anthem, my hymn.  I play it almost daily.  It seems even more special when it comes on in the car while Teddy and I are running around getting errands accomplished.  It came on the radio last week.  Joyful tears streamed down my face as I felt so overcome with happiness.  I looked in my rearview mirror to see Teddy’s sweet face.  He was smiling.  I was smiling.  I flipped down my visor because I felt like I should look at myself.  Who wants to see themselves cry, ugly cry face isn’t good, but the reflection actually wasn’t sad cry face.  It was happy – it reflected the way I was feeling inside.  Two sweet tears rolled down my face – I like to think one for each son.  Thank you, Father, for this song that sings to my heart on a daily basis.  Thank you for testing our faith on a minute-by-minute basis.  Thank you for allowing me to call upon Your name.  Thank you for giving me rest.  Thank you for allowing me to trust you without border.  Thank you for calling me to be Simon’s mother.  And above all, thank you for growing me, making me stronger, and for your great sacrifice.   

One more noteworthy item about this song, it is about Simon Peter, one of Jesus’ 12 disciples.  As you’ll read in a future post we are working on, we in part named Simon after Simon Peter – giving this song further meaning.  Here is the scripture where this song originated.  What faith and courage Simon Peter had – but he also showed doubt.  How we all seem to struggle with faith beyond reason, just as Simon Peter did.


Matthew 14:22-34  (NIV)  | Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.  25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.  27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”  28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”  29 “Come,” he said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”  31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”  32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
~Amy

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