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Showing posts from May, 2019

What it's like for a dad five years after his infant son died.

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Where am I now?
It has been five years since the seven-day and twenty-two-minute journey of Simon’s life outside the womb.What’s it like for a dad five years later?What’s it like for me?
Since Simon, I haven’t done the amazing work of starting a support group, like Amy has.But there have been dads, here and there, that I’ve talked to and shared stories with.I’ve sought to encourage them.I’ve told them it is OK to be angry, and it is normal to be scared.I’ve told them it is OK to question their faith as long as they truly seek answers.I remind them God’s work is never done.

My emotional IQ is remarkably better than it would have been, had I never met Simon.I can see pain behind people’s eyes, almost as easily as I could see blood from a wound.This makes me a better leader and coach.It gives me comfort in being vulnerable and being open, so I can connect with those who are hurting.I lean into the mess, as this only feels right, since Simon.
Since Simon, I have recurring flashbacks of h…

#simonsgiftoftime2019

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Tonight we begin the fifth anniversary celebration of Simon’s life.  On May 14, 2014 at 9:55pm, we welcomed Simon Adam Balentine into this world.
Year after year, my mind travels effortlessly back to the moment Simon was born.  We weren’t sure if he would be alive as we decided to forgo fetal heart monitoring during labor.  We thought if he died before/during labor, it might be hard for me to continue to labor knowing his soul had been taken already.  He was alive at birth, eyes wide open, arms and legs squirming.   My OB placed Simon on my chest and all of the prayers from the previous five months had been graciously answered in that moment.  He breathed!  I shouted praises to God thanking Him for his mercy.  It wasn't long after his birth that we finally heard his voice.  It was heavenly (this video shares his sweet cries).
Following Simon’s birth, all we wanted was time with him.  It was simple.  We were doing our best in those moments of the unknown to claim joy and c…