BALENTINE MEMOIRS

One of the many uncomfortable aspects of life and faith Simon has forced me to dissect and to think about is heaven.   At age 31, you don’t think much about the end of your life.  Sure, I have sought to understand Jesus’ promise of eternal life in heaven - a promise for any who would accept him as Lord and follow him.  Just because I have faith in this promise doesn’t mean its an easy thing to think about. Life is mostly fun when it isn’t tough.  Our days may presently have an undercurrent of sorrow, but we are happy in our family, our home, our memories, and so on.  The happiness of this life must come to an end, and that is a scary thought.  Prior to knowing Simon, I avoided thoughts of heaven.  I didn’t want to think about not being with Amy.  I didn’t want to think about this life slipping away.  It is so much easier to just avoid thinking about complicated things like life, heaven, hell and death.  These topics require uncomfortable thought and conversation, and ultimately

How is Adam handling the pain?  What have you seen from him over the last several weeks? Amy's answer: First I should start by saying not a day goes by where I don’t forget to thank God for Adam.  I always thought Adam was a really special person.  Our friendship was strong for nearly six years before we entertained the idea of dating, seven before we promised ourselves to each other.  God had quite a plan for us, as he does all marriages.  If I would have known on move-in day at KU freshman year (August 2001) that I would not only marry Adam, but then have two sons with him, one of which would be very sick and not live, I would not and could not have believed it.  I presume this is one of many reasons why God doesn’t give us a written book of our days when we are born.  Adam has always been “in touch” with his thoughts and emotions more-so than most of our peers, I’ve always thought.   Our marriage has greatly benefitted from Adam’s willingness to talk to me about our feeli

Amy is growing into the same beautifully pregnant mama she was with Teddy.  Sliding in-and-out of the barstools at our kitchen island is getting a little more difficult for her, as is sleeping comfortably.  Simon is still moving a lot, and luckily, I occasionally feel him when he is bobbing around.  Giving hugs and kisses to Simon continues to be a part of Teddy’s bedtime routine.  Every night we read books (typically about trucks), say our prayers, and then hug and kiss Simon goodnight. Amy and I both spent a lot of time talking about Simon to other people this week.  People are giving us amazing feedback about how Simon’s story is impacting their lives.  The overarching theme is that people are being challenged to either understand Christ better, or strengthen their relationship with Christ.  We feel so blessed to initiate and facilitate these types of discussions. We also appreciate people reading our blog.  The reasons we write all stem from our love of God, Simon, each oth

My life is a witness to vulgar grace - a grace that amazes as it offends.  A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wages as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten till five.  A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck toward the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party no ifs, ands, or buts.  A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief's request - "Please, remember me" - and assures him, "You bet!"  A grace that is the pleasure of the Father, fleshed out in the carpenter Messiah, Jesus the Christ, who left His Father's side not for heaven's sake but for our sakes, yours and mine.  This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion.  It works without asking anything of us.  It's not cheap.  It's free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility.  Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to

Today we heard Simon's heartbeat.  With each beat Simon is fighting and saying, "I'm in here!"  I am so thankful for each day we have with Simon.  Living in the moment is pretty hard for me, but Simon is teaching me to enjoy and give thanks each minute as tomorrow is not certain.  Thank you, God, for allowing us to hear Simon's heartbeat today.  Tears of joy and relief streamed down my face as I heard each sweet beat.  It was such a gift.   Enjoy these few verses which are encouragement for me today.  The video of his heartbeat is also below (features my bump too!). ~Amy Matthew 6:34 34  “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Psalm 118:24 24  This is the day that the Lord has made;      let us rejoice and be glad in it Isaiah 41:13 13  For I, the Lord your God,      hold your right hand;

Question 2: Why take an "open book" approach - sharing thoughts, struggles, and personal details - during this difficult time? Adam's answer: We opened up as soon as we learned of Simon's condition because we knew our loved ones needed to groan with us. We are too weak to do this alone. We also understand that there are plenty of others who suffer in silence, for various reasons, every day. We strongly believe in community and drawing on the support of others. We hope this might inspire others who are in struggles to do the same. Family, friends and our church community have been solid rocks for us. Our Bible study group (or community group) continues to be a safe place where we can work through the tangled web of sorrow and bear each other's burdens. I want those who read or hear our story to be comforted because we are comforted.  I pray my friends and family who are skeptics or non-believers will seek this peace we feel, and knock on this door of grace