BALENTINE MEMOIRS

Simon is constantly teaching us lessons.  What recent lesson sticks out the most? Adam's answer: Trying to nail this down to one lesson is really hard.  I have my eyes opened to new realities every day.   Simon’s life is such a precious gift and I'm overjoyed to be his dad.  But his unknown future causes suffering and pain.  What comes to mind right now is the lesson to embrace the emotion of the moment. Most men have a natural desire to fight, fix or run in the face of an impending threat or preeminent pain.  I can’t fix or fight Simon’s diagnosis, so what I’m left with is a decision between facing/embracing the pain, or completely avoiding it.  I’ve certainly responded both ways over the course of the last couple of months since we’ve been on this journey.  I know what the right course of action is though, because the Spirit pulls me that way.  The right thing to do is be present, face it, and work through the emotion and sorrow ...

This is a post of my email sent to my band of brothers on January 20, 2014 -- Men, I find it had to believe that my hands are typing this message.  I love each one of you and need your prayers, so that's really what this is about.  Amy and I found out a few days ago that our second child, with whom Amy is 20 weeks pregnant, likely would not live. Today, we received news that our baby has a very rare chromosomal disorder called Trisomy 13.  Trisomy 13 has a 100% fatality rate for children.  This does not pose any additional threat to mothers carrying their babies. We have no idea what the next days or weeks have in store for us.  Amy may be able to carry this baby to full term, or the child might not make it to the normal 40 weeks.  The baby may never breath a breath on this earth, or it may survive for some time.  The only thing we are sure of is that loss and more pain are in our future. We have an over...

A desire to write down my thoughts on a variety of topics is a persistent urge of mine.  I've sporadically done it on iPhone notes and Evernote.  I had a paper journal that I wrote in consistently for a few years, but have since rarely cracked it open.  Now I think it is important to begin to aggregate these entries in one place.  I hope it helps my wife know me better and my children know me better.  If my friends and other family end up taking a look, that is great as well.  My prayer would be that my exploration of thought helps me come closer to Christ and know God better.  I believe that allowing yourself to be vulnerable forces humility and gives you a real opportunity to grow.  So much of life and relationships involve protecting and shielding ourselves from being vulnerable around others. God seizes your heart if you remove the barrier of your ego and you clear the path to seek his knowledge.  I want others to join me on thi...